Life

This week has been particularly stressful for me. Work and family are going well. The challenges I have faced are with an organization I volunteer with and love. Without going into a long story, let's just say that it's been a stressful week. I have had painful stress-induced migraines, lost sleep, and just an overall feeling of the weight of the world on my shoulders. It just hasn't been a great week.

Today I was driving in the car and thought back to when I was a junior in college. I had an ROTC scholarship and was getting ready to head off to junior camp. I developed a severe injury that prevented me from running for years and therefore lost the scholarship. It was both devastating and a relief at the same time. I was devastated because this scholarship was the culmination of all my dreams. I had wanted it for so long and was so disappointed that I couldn't follow the footsteps of the military members of my family. I felt relieved because quite frankly, I was terrified of my future with the military. This was after Desert Storm and before 9/11. It seemed to be a fairly calm time in the military world but for some reason, I was fearful of the future. In hindsight, I see it as fate working it's magic. Had I continued with the scholarship and went into the military, I would not have met my husband and would not have the wonderful children I have.

It was during this time in college that an advisor gave me a copy of the poem "Desiderata" by Max Ehrmann, which hung proudly in his office. I found consolation in the poem and after this week, I went in search of it. I needed a reminder to hold my life preciously and to treat myself delicately as I am hurled through space. So I am posting it here as a reminder to be good to myself and a request that you do the same.

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

-Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.